


Setup

by Kateinator



Category: Homestuck
Genre: I'm Sorry, oh my god this is embarrassing, this is for someone in a half assed attempt for flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-10 01:59:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3272603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kateinator/pseuds/Kateinator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alterniatively titled "In Which A Mutantblooded Troll And A Cat Themed Oliveblooded Troll Connive and Plan To Get The Mutantblood's Moirail And The Oliveblood's Patron Together Because The Mutantblood Is Absolutely Tired of Hearing His Moirail Gush About How 'Absolutely Amazing' Her Flushcrush Is."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS SELF INDULGENT AND FOR SOMEONE. I JUST THOUGHT THAT USING THE CODING ON HERE WOULD MAKE IT LOOK BETTER

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling wrathfulRoyal [WR] at 14:59

CG: KATE  
WR: sup?   
CG: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?  
WR: at home  
WR: why?  
WR: whatever happened it wasn't my fault  
WR: most likely at least.   
CG: BECAUSE FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY  
WR: rude.   
CG: ANYWAY. ARE YOU AVAILABLE LATER THIS EVENING?  
WR: Karkat I never have any plans. I spend my entire existence doing essentially nothing but chase after people, be sarcastic, microwave food, and watch shit on my computer.  
WR: or dealing with you  
WR: I mean that in the nicest context.  
CG: YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW. YOU COULDN'T BE MEAN TO ME IF SOMEONE PUT A GUN TO YOUR HEAD AND TOLD YOU TO MAKE FUN OF MY HAIR  
WR: your hair is nice. it's all fluffy and shit.   
WR: anyway, why do you need me?  
WR: are you missing my illustrious presence already?  
WR: wait that sounded really dumb  
CG: JUST BE AVAILABLE BY SEVEN.   
CG: AND BY SEVEN I MEAN SIX THIRTY  
WR: got it. anything else?  
WR: like an explanation why I need to be available?  
WR: or if I need to bring a weapon?  
CG: FUCKING HELL. JUST WEAR SOMETHING NICE   
CG: I'LL MEET YOU THEN  
WR: Karkat.   
WR: why do I have to look nice.   
CG: ASK KANAYA OR SOMEONE TO HELP WITH YOUR HAIR.   
WR: KARKAT VANTAS WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO LOOK NICE  
CG: I'LL SEE YOU AT SEVEN  
CG: <>

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling wrathfulRoyal [WR] at 15:15 

WR: DON'T YOU CEASE TROLLING ME.   
WR: DID YOU SET ME UP WITH SOMEONE?  
WR: I SWEAR TO FUCKING CHRIST IF YOU DID  
WR: YOU'RE INSUFFERABLE SOMETIMES.  
WR: <>

~~~~~

arsenicCatnip[AC] began trolling thoughtfulEclectic [TE] at 15:18

AC: :33< *the furrocious huntress stalks her prey as she prowls through the woods.*  
AC: :33< *she studies the wild chimera, and her digestive sac rumbles at the thought of all that tasty meat.*  
AC: :33< *as the chimera turns at a sound, the great lion LEAPS!*  
TE: *the fiery and intelligent chimera is pounced upon by a wild lioness, hungry for her flesh. with a great roar, she struggles to free herself from the huntress' grip!*  
TE: *finally, she manages to throw the predator, and faces her, snarling.* "why are you hunting me? are we not good friends?" *she asks*  
TE: *she also asks if we can drop the roleplaying bit for a bit.*  
AC: :33< okay! sorry.   
TE: so what's up?  
AC: :33< I just wanted to know if you were fr33 this aftfurnoon.   
TE: sure, why?  
TE: you wanna hang out or something.   
AC: :33< no, actually. I was just pawndering.   
AC: :33< how are your quadrants doing?  
TE: what?   
TE: well, uh.   
TE: I think I might have something in the works?  
AC: :33< REALLY? who? what quadrant?  
TE: Nepeta pls  
AC: :33< sorry! but who is it?  
TE: you know Katie, right?  
AC: :33< yeah...  
AC: :33< OH.   
TE: yup. I've been trying to get her attention but...  
TE: it's not working.   
AC: :33< well, furrom what I've herd, she's kinda oblivihiss to the world around her.   
TE: well, you're not wrong.   
AC: :33< anyway, I'll s33 you at seven, Lauren!   
TE: wait why?  
AC: :33< wear something nice!  
AC: :33< it's a surpurrise!

arsenicCatnip[AC] ceased trolling thoughtfulEclectic [TE] at 15:41

~~~~~

arsenicCatnip[AC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 15:43

AC: :33< *the housecat pouncegr33ts the little grey crab.*  
AC: :33< "I have mews!" *she says excitedly.*  
CG: UGH. FINE. I'LL INDULGE YOUR WEIRDASS ROLEPLAYING JUST THIS ONCE  
CG: *THE LITTLE GREY CRAB WONDERS WHAT NEWS THE HOUSECAT HAS FOR HIM.*  
AC: :33< Purren is available tonight! she has no idea about our plans either.  
CG: YEAH, KATE HAS NO IDEA EITHER. SHE'S GOOD.   
CG: WELL, AS GOOD AS SHE EVER IS.   
CG: FUCK. WHY DO I ALWAYS DEAL WITH THE CRAZY INDIGOS?  
AC: :33< purrobably beclaws you're the best at dealing with idiots  
AC: :33< and she kind of is a little dumb sometimes  
CG: HEY. RUDE.    
CG: YOU'RE RIGHT, BUT STILL.   
CG: ANYWAY, THEY'RE GONNA MEET UP AT SEVEN FIFTEEN, RIGHT?  
AC: :33< yeah. and we'll be sitting somewhere and watching  
AC: :33< sort of like a double date!  
CG: EXCEPT THE OTHER HALF OF IT HAS NO IDEA WE'RE THERE   
AC: :33< true. s33 you there.   
CG: I'LL PROBABLY BE LATE.   
CG: THIS IS *KATE* WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.   
AC: :33< got it.   
CG: I'LL SEE YOU THERE. 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] at 16:02

~~~~~

when Karkat knocked on the door at 6:58 PM, he found an irritated young woman standing in front of him, shoes and phone in hand. "you still haven't explained why I need to look nice, where are we going?" she asked. Karkat sighed. "I'll tell you when we get there." he said. "now are we going or not?"

Kate narrowed her eyes, but nodded. "just let me get my shoes on. and my coat." 

Karkat facepalmed. 

when they finally arrived at the restaurant, Kate was glancing around, confusedly, as Karkat pulled her to the maitre d. 

then she noticed both Lauren and Nepeta leaning against the podium, and bent down to Karkat's ear. "you set me up on a date. I'm gonna fucking stab you with my heels after this." 

Karkat nodded slightly, like she wasn't threatening him with grievous bodily harm, and tried to subtly remove her fingers from his arm. "you'll be fine. she's your best friend. nothing could-"

"if that sentence was ending with 'go wrong', I will run your romcoms through a paper shredder."

"shoosh. you'll be fine."

meanwhile, as the two hissed at each other, Lauren and Nepeta were in a heated conversation with each other.

"you set me up. on a date."

"yeah."

"why?"

"beclaws let me be purrfectly honest, both of you are hopeless in the romance depurrtment."

"true. but-" 

"no buts. except the butt you're gonna romance the heck out of."

"I-okay." she looked up at Kate, and the two smiled nervously at each other. 

as the two were escorted away, Karkat and Nepeta fistbumped. "hopefurly, this will end well." Nepeta said, and Karkat nodded. 

"now, let's go eat and make sure something doesn't end up fucked up."


	2. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of this. STILL REALLY DUMB AND SELF ABSORBED. FUCK CODING.

wrathfulRoyal [WR] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 21:53

WR: Hey Karkat?

CG: YEAH. 

WR: Can you do me a favor?

CG: WHAT?

WR: please just stab me in the chest with your sickle

WR: God knows it's much less painful than dying of embarrassment. 

CG: OH JESUS FUCK. CALM DOWN. IT WAS A DATE. YOU WERE FINE. 

WR: I fucked up. 

WR: I looked like an idiot, Karkat. 

WR: I STARTED SNORTING WHEN I LAUGHED. 

WR: WHO EVEN DOES THAT?

CG: PEOPLE WHO FIND THAT THEIR POTENTIAL MATESPRITS ARE FUNNY. 

WR: ugh it was AWFUL. 

WR: what was I thinking. 

CG: YOU WERE THINKING THAT YOU WERE INFATUATED WITH YOUR FLUSHCRUSH. 

WR: I 

WR: just. 

WR: ugh. I looked like an idiot. She probably doesn't ever want to talk to me again. 

CG: BULLSHIT. 

CG: EVEN BEFORE THIS CRUSH THING STARTED 

CG: WHICH I WAS COMPLETELY AGAINST IN THE BEGINNING

WR: wait, what?

CG: LONG STORY. 

CG: ANYWAY, SHE WAS

CG: IS

CG: YOUR BEST FUCKING FRIEND. 

CG: SHE'S STILL GOING TO BE THAT EVEN IF THIS RELATIONSHIP THING DOESN'T END WELL.

CG: NOW CALM YOUR SHIT. 

WR: I'm just freaking out. I'm sorry. I have no idea how 

WR: yanno

WR: doing this kinda stuff works. 

WR: what if I did something wrong?

CG: DON'T APOLOGIZE. YOU WERE FINE. IF SHE CANT REALIZE THAT, ITS HER LOSS. 

WR: thanks Karkat. 

WR: I should probably go talk to her. 

WR: OOH! and Nepeta! 

WR: we need to plan your date!

CG: WAIT WHAT. 

CG: DONT YOU DARE START SETTING ME UP WITH PEOPLE. 

CG: THIS WAS A ONE TIME THING. 

WR: don't worry you'll be fine!

WR: I have very STRONG feeling about this

CG: SHIT. YOU DID NOT SET ME UP WITH EQUIUS. 

CG: NOT HIM. 

CG: THAT WAS CONFIDENTIAL. 

CG: KATE WHY. 

WR: because you liiiiike him. 

CG: MY QUADRANTS ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 

WR: and mine were?

CG: ... TOUCHÉ. 

WR: I gotta go. I wanna talk to Lauren about stuff. 

WR: arrivederci! 

WR: <>

wrathfulRoyal [WR] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 22:15

CG: GODDAMNIT KATE. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm an Equikat trash shipper. sorry.


End file.
